Ranking Revolution!

Just sneaking out of my self-imposed hiatus for a moment or two to babble a bit… And I do mean it- look at that title! I used alliteration! Clearly, I’m babbling.

About a year ago, I did my Hello Project Rankings for C-ute, Berryz and Momusu. To say that they’ve changed drastically since then is an understatement. So, one year later, I’ve decided to re-examine those rankings. Girls will be listed from least to most favorite. I’ll start with the Head Honchos…

Morning Musume:

(Last Year’s Thoughts:)

#9. Tanaka Reina

Former Postion: #9

So my opinion on Reina hasn’t changed. None, nary a wit, not at all. Stop winking, stop whining when you sing, dye your hair black again. Thanks.

(And yes. The only reason I saved that picture is because Linlin is being particularly awesome in the background).

#8. Mitsui Aika

Former Position: #3

And here’s where the drastic changes start.  How could she have fallen so far? Well… honestly, she hasn’t done much at all that I can tell since joining Momusu two-ish years ago. Her voice, if anything, has gotten worse over time, and without bangs she has a kinda scary face. Also, she seems to be hanging out with Reina more often, and that reflects negatively on her in my eyes. She is, however important in once respect:

For me, Mittsi kind of stands for all the disappointments that MM’s current members seem to be bringing. They all seem content to stay safely within the world of genki and kawaii, and Mitsui is the epitome of that. She lets her voice go to seed, putting to shame the amazing debut lines she got in Egao Yes Nude. However, there’s more to it than that. Mitsui doesn’t need to be just another boring Musume in a long line of future boring Musumes. I sense future greatness in her… in fact, here’s a little prophecy:

She’s come to provide salvation, and reconciliation with the general public for (the majority of) the MM girls’ sins of boringness and Way-Too-Cuteness. To do so, she’ll sacrifice herself: She’ll accept the punishment of falling in my wota rankings to clear the other girls of their sins…

Thousands of years from now, there’ll be a religion that’s all to do with Mittsi. There’ll be Mittsimas, to celebrate the day she joined MM, and there’ll be Sotsugyou, to commemorate the day she hung up her microphone, thus taking with her all of the evils that Momusu-kind had collected over the years. And, of course, there’ll be a seemingly random holiday about eggs and rabbits celebrating the day she was suddenly resurrected to be on some dull quiz show as a judge.

(And yes, that is a picture of Mittsi(‘s butt). That’s Mitsui getting groped by  Sayumi on the big screen behind Koha and the others in that .gif).

#7. Kusumi Koharu

Former Position: #8

I respect Kusumi. She may be a Kirari-singing, scary-toothed crack fiend, but at least she’s confident about it. She has a lot more personality than, say, Aika or Junjun.

Then again… She’s also mildly terrifying, and her voice makes my brain crawl out my ears like so many gray slugs on more than one occasion.  Thus, she’s ranked down here. And yes, I chose that picture for a reason. I’m sure Koharu and Kanna would get along just fine…

#6. Junjun

Former Position: #2

So… yeah… Junjun… kinda like with Aika, I’ve seen little improvement in The Junster during her time in Momusu. I still like her because she’s abso-bloody-lutely gorgeous, but so are most of the other girls.

#5. Takitty

Former Position: #6

I just like Takitty lately. I don’t watch enough TV shows to say whether or not she’s gotten less boring when being interviewed, but during all of their concerts she’s got the most stage presence and best voice, and that’s what counts. Takitty has the ability to make old classics interesting again. Let’s face it: When you’re a fan of Morning Musume, you’re basically signed up to watch the girls perform the same songs over and over again in increasingly desperate outfits. Yet Takahashi always puts a new spin on whatever she’s singing, and that’s enough to keep my attention for an entire performance.

#4. GAKIIIIIIII

Former Position: #4

No opinion change here: I love Gaki, Gaki is great, when Gaki smiles, the whole world smiles along with her. And when she makes the “(°0°)” face, so does the rest of the world. I KNOW YOU’RE ALL MAKING THAT FACE WHILE YOU READ THIS.

#3. Sayumi~♥

Former Position: #5

I didn’t want this to happen, but it has: I just love Sayumi.

She’s too cute to be real.

#2. Kamei Eri

Former Position: #1

Uh-huh, I went there. I dropped the Turtley Musume down a place. I still love her and if she offered me a position as her adoring wota love-slave, I’d still drop everything and hop the next plane to Japan… I just love a certain Panda much more.

#1. Linlin

Former Position: #7

This is the real reason that I decided to re-do my rankings: Linlin has gone from being in my bottom three in MM to being not only my favorite Musume, but one of my favorite H!P members! It’s like Linlin just woke up one day and accidentally drank a glass of awesome for breakfast. Her voice stopped doing horrible squeaky things, and she started smiling comforably on camera. Plus, she says and does the oddest things. She’s what I feel Momusu is missing; Someone to play the Kemeko character to contrast all the sugary sweetness we’ve got with Gaki and Kamei and Sayumi and Reina and Junjun. Cuteness is great, but there need to be some girls willing to act like a fool to show the cute ones off. Linlin knows that.

…

And now, because it’s my blog and I can: LINLIN PICSPAM OF (not exactly) EPIC PROPORTIONS!

Also, for those of you who feel cheated out of their daily dosage of the Non-Panda 8th gen. girl, here’s a token picture of Mittsi:

This is just to say…

I am alive. I’m sorry for my severe lack of decent posting. Due to a fairly personal reason (I have mentioned it in this blog before, I know it), I just haven’t been able to pull up the energy to sit down and write a post that I feel good about.

That said, I have about a thousand drafts, including one for my (now passed) 1-year anniversary on this blog! I hope to finish that one before I have to call it my 1.5 year anniversary. But aside from that, I don’t know how often or to what extent I’ll be blogging in the upcoming weeks. My hope is that by writing this post, I’ll do that reverse-psychology bit to myself that works so well on those of us with small intellects, and antagonize myself into getting motivated!

So the short version of this already short post? I’m out for a little while, but I love H!P too much to be gone for good. You’re not rid of me yet!

As a reward for reading all of that, here’s some adorable Lin: