♠♦♥♣

September 21, 2008

So! Thanks to Mars (The blogger of Stardust. Wait a minute. Wow. That sounds like the name of a nerdy emo band. The Bloggers of Stardust. Black ink runs from their slashed wrists as they type out their angst into a coded swirling dark torrent of despair. Yeah, that sounds about right!), I have learned of the formation of possibly the greatest new unit in H!P. Why, you ask, does Usa-chan love this unit so much? She’ll tell you, and in the third person to boot!

1. Usa-chan’s favorite-ish Eggy-poo is currently Saho Akari, who also happens to be portraying the uber cool Amulet Spade character transformation.

2. Usa-chan loves Fukuda Kanon

3. Usa-chan just so happens to adore the character designs for Amu’s character transformations in Shugo Chara.

3.14159. Usa-chan doesn’t usually talk in the third person like this…

3.5. She finds it mildly thrilling.

4. She’ll stop now.

I can’t tell you how happy this new unit has made me.

It’s very interesting that Maeda Yuuka was chosen to be the Amulet Heart transformation, Amu’s main character transformation in the anime/manga. Could that denote an advanced position within the group? I don’t know if I’d like that, as any over-saturated girl in H!P generally annoys me (hey thar Reina). But the fact that my two darlings within the group are portraying my two favorite Character Transformations (Saho Akari as the ever cool MIki, and Fukuda Kanon as the lovely Su) makes me squee like the fangirl that I… well, am. As long as they both get even one tiny little line, the entire rest of the song can be all Maeda, and I’ll be okay. I’m not so stoked about Wada Ayaka, because she’s always reminded me of a brownie. Both the food (which is a dry little chocolate-ish square that grandmothers force into you), and the creatures (which are helpful little sprites that, inexplicably, refuse gifts, especially clothing. Maybe they’re Jehovah’s Witness.)

This good news came at the perfect time for me. Rather than go into detail, I’ll simply say that my life is not going greatly at the moment (a teenager’s position is powerless, or so I’ve been told). Despite all this personal suckishness, just the smallest, most pixelated image of a bunch of cute underage girls dressed up in what looks like cheap cosplay brings all sorts of good feelings back (no, not those kinds of feelings, you perverts). For a half hour, I can sit here and be distracted from any personal crap as I plan out how best to jump a plane to Japan, hide in some bushes, kidnap Saho-chan, put her in my pocket, and bring her back to America with me.

Basically? Idols are the only thing that never fail to make me happy. People come and go, but there will ALWAYS be another poorly produced, talentless pop group out there for me to adore. I give the T-man a lot of grief, but really, I’m very grateful to him.

Thanks, Tsunku. I appreciate it.*

*But you’re seriously still creepy.


The morning after…

September 8, 2008

Just a bit of follow-up from my last post.

Yes, my pageviews did increase quite a bit. What does that prove?

That men (and some women) like boobs.

So basically, I proved something we all already knew.

My god, I feel like that guy who made “Supersize Me.” Remember him? He’s the guy who said, one day, “Yes, I think I’m going to prove that fast food is bad for you by eating a lot of it. Here goes!”

Well, that’s fine by me. Have some Turtle-flavored fanservice for reading this. :3


Do you guys like me yet?

September 1, 2008

Alternate title: Usa-chan’s blog needs a “mature-content” warning.

Times are hard. Gas prices are soaring, stocks are falling, and people are making sacrifices worldwide to make ends meet. What does this have to do with blogging? Probably nothing. But I do know that I’ve been getting fewer and fewer pageviews lately. Thus, my blogging ego is plummeting along with my pageviews, and I’m going to blame it on the recession. Wow, I’m talking just like an adult already!

What am I going to do about this?

I’m going to figure out what all you readers out there want and give you a post devoted to that. As far as I can tell, most of you out there look for one or more of three things when reading a post:

1. Humor. Who doesn’t like to laugh?

2. New opinions, or something you didn’t already know.

3. Boobs. Do I really need to explain?

The easiest of those three things is, of course, the last. And because school has started and thanks to sadistic teachers I already have homework, I’m only choosing to give you one of those three. So here you go:

Usa-chan’s super awesome fanservice post!

Why not start out with a bang (pun intended)? Besides, according to my research (IE bored musings), the pictures are probably the only things you’ll actually look at in this post.

Personally, I find Nacchi to be one of the sexiest members of H!P. Plus, if you back waaay up, tilt your head and kinda squint, not only will you look incredibly silly, but Nacchi’s bathing suit kinda blends into her skin. z0ngz! Yes,all you need after doing that is a bit of imagination, and bam! You’ve got naked Nacchi!

I find Rika’s ribs here to be kinda disturbing. But the point of this part of the post is boobies, not ribs, so there you go, you perverts.

This was just too funny not to include. Whoever made this .gif, come talk to me, because you’re hilarious.

Yuiboobs are the only ones in H!P that I think might be the result of plastic surgery. She went from flat to boobalicious in a very short amount of time (see below). No push-up bra could do that.

It’s like anti-fanservice on the left there.

I’d love to see another Konkon photobook, now that she’s back in H!P.

Thank Gaki for fans who know how to use photoshop (no, they didn’t actually kiss. but if they had…)

So, whaddaya say, guys? Are the pageviews going to start pouring in?