FOREVER LOVE… y’mean Tokkaiko 2, right?

November 17, 2008

C-ute’s new PV is not spectacular, but it’s still pretty damn good. I’m loving that they sprung some surprise outfits on us for the dance shot. I’m also loving that no one even bothered to hide the fact that Berryz got the crappier computers for their PV. It speaks volumes about the current placement of these two groups within H!P’s priority list. Berryz has basically become a joke, sort of like Melon Kinenbi did when they released their infamous PV for Onegai Miwaku no Target. I mean, look at this:

bettercompy

Chisato: Ha ha ha! OMG, the girl in that picture’s totally got octopus hair! Lol, what a lame-o!

Kanna: … Wonder if I should tell Chisato that that’s one of her official UFA pics from this PV? They basically photoshop her into unrecognizeability anyways. so it shouldn’t matter, but…

Erika: Mai, how many times must I tell you? Stop trying to unhook my bra in public. Just wait till later, okay?

Mai: C’mon, baby. No one’s watching! Just for a few minutes!

Airi: And that, my friends, is how you download free porn.

Maimi: Wooooow! Airi, who knew you had such hidden talents?

Saki: Hey, that girl in this hentai kinda looks like Yaguchi Mari! Only her name’s Yauchi. What’s this called again? Shining Musume? Funny, that almost sounds like… Oh.

I’m pleased, in general, with how the girls look. The menswear theme is really cool, and I’m loving the boots. With the alternate outfits, each of the girls gets a somewhat menswear inspired feminine outfit, expect for Airi, who’s wearing a particularly attractive little capelet which is nevertheless the aboslute worst thing to be wearing when dancing. It kills her movements. I think I’m the most in love with Mai’s clothes. The remind me of Kanashimi Twilight.

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The worst outfit award HAS to go to Kanna. She has this odd overall outfit in a really heinous plaid. It totally doesn’t fit around her hips, and it makes her torso look way too short. The hat and the scarf just make it that much worse. She ends up looking like she’s gotten confused as to whether she’s being Orphan Annie or one of the factory boys from Oliver.

However, something else stood out to me about this screen-shot, something far more interesting than the fact that whoever chose Kanna’s clothes was obviously high:

chisatushOMG, ChisaTUSH for the win!

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Like this move? Takahashi taught it to me. It’s really original and makes me look distraught and hurt, lol!

Maimi was, as usual, looking stunning. For me, Maimi herself isn’t physically my type. She’s pretty, but not in a way that I really care about. But something about the way she carries herself really appeals to me. Maybe it’s because that she’s actually a UFA built cyborg that she carries herself like that, the original having been absorbed by the ManoCreature ages ago.

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On your knees. Lick my boots. Curl my hair. Kill Momoko and Miyabi so I can go solo.

Somehow… Airi… really made me happy in this one.

Maybe it’s because she knows how to download internet porn. -shrugs- You decide.

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No matter how you look at it, Chisato is gorgeous in this PV. But her hair… her hair…

How much hair cement did it take to make it look like someone had basically stuck an octopus to her scalp and called it a day? Whoever thought of this style should be shot (although I don’t mind the bangs).

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Nakki, oh, Nakki. What happened here? You look like some Mexican guy, and not the sexy kind that have big muscles and looks good when they’re sweating. The scrawny kind with the thin little mustache that tries to sell you things on the side of the street and is wearinga stained tank top and has too much hair gel in their hair.

But, uh, you looked great dancing. In fact, that purple blazer of yours in the alternate outfit version was fantastic. I tried the exact same thing on today while shopping at Banana Republic.

It looked better on you.

Dammit.

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Kanna, oh, Kanna…

Whatever Saki did wrong, you did right. You’re breathtaking in this PV, in that special lesbian way that only you can be.

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Mai looks like a sickly child here. Like the kind you see carrying an inhaler in their fanny pack, along with their hanky and handi-wipes, just in case.

Er, yeah, Mai. Better luck next time.

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If any of you needed proof that Erika is part woodchuck…

Erika was mostly just Erika here. Kinda out of place, but still sexy. I abslolutely loved her curly hair during some parts of the dance shot. She looks so much better that way.

(Oh, the reason for the title of this was because the song, the PV, the dance, the line distribution, all of it basically makes me thing of Tokaikko Junjou/ That’s not bad. I love that song and PV.)

I give this PV a 8 out of 10, and the song an 8.5 out of 10, because I’m just that great.

Now if you’ll excuse, I’m going to go stare at ChisaTUSH some more.


Oogoe Diamond from the PoV of an AKB48 newb

October 6, 2008

Catchy title, no?

I will be the first to admit that I am a newb, or even a n00b when it comes to AKB48. Sure, I recognize most of their faces, but I only know a handful of their names, and even less of their personalities (those profiles of yours, Cat? They’re amazing. Please keep them up, because they’re the only thing that made me able to pick some of the Team A girls out of the crowd). So when I watch their PVs, I am generally in it for three things: Hoping that something as amazing as Keibetsu Shiteita Aijou will come along, watching for something eyecatching or different, and Miyazawa Sae.

You can imagine how happy I was when I watched the new PV and saw that Sae is practically the main character.

I really wanted to give this PV a serious review, but when I sat down to write it, I found myself resorting to descriptions likes “That girl about four girls to the left of Sae wants to be anywhere but there” or “the one who looks like a cocker spaniel looks really bored.” That just doesn’t sit well with me, so I threw out that sad version and, well, now I have something that’s part review, part ramble, all WTF-ery. Basically, these are the notes that I took as I was watching the PV in their original format, with crappy screencaps to help them along. Let’s start, shall we?

So the PV begins with Acchan, one of my least-favored girls that I can actually recognize. She’s running, she’s running, she’s running, and then! Some girl bumps into her, and gives her the look from Hell. This look, to be specific:

I’mma eat j00 up, Acchan!

Waittaminute, who is that? Seriously, who is she? She has a kind of funny mouth. Is she that research student with the funny mouth?  Muranaka Satomi, right? Hnnh.

Acchan: “What a rude, rude little Reasearch student you are! Acchan is your Supreme Overlord, and you, as a Research student, are her bitch! Apologize, or you will never find yourself in another single as long as you live! Not even as one of those random extras that no one notices! HAHAHAHAHAer… -kawaiiemolook-”

Now they’re in a hallway. Mayuyu reminds me of a toy poodle. I just base this off of how tiny and fragile she looks. Like the tiny kind of dog that yaps all the time and practically wets itself whenever a bigger dog so much as glances at it. What is she bitching about now? Wait. I see Sae texting! It’s Sae, huzzah! Oh, wait, Mayuyu has an announcement to make…

Toy Poodle: “Excuse me, everyone? Yeah, hi, over here. Our producer just texted me. He said that I’m going to be the newest soloist. If I don’t sell 10,000 copies of my new super-slutty single, he’ll push me off of a cliff. Will you guys help me think up a stage name that’s a barely disguised euphemism for the word ‘penis?'”

Everyone: “…C’mon Mayu! No one’s that stupid! That’d never happen in real life!”

Acchan: “…Acchan wanted to be the new soloist… Now what is Acchan supposed to do with the hunky men she hired to be her slightly awkward back-up dancers?”

Here she is again! Who are you?! Agh, this is so going to bother me! Research students wouldn’t get that much screentime, right? I’ll admit that she’s kinda fun, but can someone tell me where the heck she came from? She even gets a duet line instead of just getting stuck into the chorus. Wut?

The dance really isn’t anything special, is it? But there’s lots of Sae-time, so I’m set. She dances with so much energy. She’s like Yossy… only she hasn’t cross-dressed, to my knowledge.

Toy Poodle: “Guys, he wouldn’t actually make me dance to this while wearing an outfit that manages to make me look like an anorexic football player with no backside to speak of, right?”

Theeeeere’s Researchy again! With the Toy Poodle and two other girls whose names I don’t know.

Er, would Mariko be allowed to wear stuff like that at a Japanese high school? Wouldn’t the teachers like, bitch slap her and make her hold heavy buckets of water as punishment for daring to stand out and be original? That said, she looks awesome.

Have I ever mentioned how much I like this Iida-looking girl? ‘Cause I do. Only, if you cover up the left half of her face in this screenshot and stare for a while, she looks like an odd mixture of Maasa and Yurina, and not a good way.

Sot he girls are adorable, learning the dance by watching a video of “real idols” dancing. Since that’s how most of us laern how to do H!P and other idol’s dances, there’s a sense of realism here. “Yes, that’s me.”

And then Sae comes in and is all “Lol, wut?? r u gaiz st00pid? thats not how u do it lol!” She then proceeds to show Acchan how much she, Sae, wins at life. Acchan is appropriately depressed.

Acchan then bitches. And bitches. And bitches.  Toy Poodle, pay attention. This is what you’re aspiring to become.

And then… the best part of the PV (which I won’t screencap due to all the moving aroundness and such) happens: Sae practically attacks Acchan, who, true to her role in the PV, stands there and sobs.

This may be because I have a martial arts background myself (I recently received my black belt in Shaolin Kempo), but I love strong, fighting women. So seeing Sae about to absolutely destroy Acchan was probably one of the sexiest things I’ve seen come from any idol group this year. If anyone, ANYone could perhaps turn that bit into a .gif and send it to me, or even just tell me what Acchan was bitching about, I would be such a happy, happy wota.

Sayaka: “-gazes longingly at Sae- I’d so tap that…”

So, I recognize who this is now. In fact, I feel kinda bad for not realizing sooner. But, can you blame me? I wasn’t expecting Voldemort to be hanging around inside AKB48.

More Sae. Why? Because there can never be enough Sae love. What’s with her hair, though? I bet it looks ridiculous from the front. It’s like a failed unicorn look.

Damnit! Tell me who you are and why you’re getting so much screentime, you… alien!!!

But the PV is getting long, and so, after an internal revelation or two, Acchan is able to get back on her feet, back onstage, and put her best face forward:

This face, to be specific. You might be thinking, “What? But that’s just her normal, dull expression that she usually wears when performing!”

Exactly.

EDIT:

OHMIGOD! SHE’S EVEN ON THE COVER, TOO?!?! WHAT GIVES? She’s totally not the Research student with the wierd mouth. Is she the SKE girl who’s listed on the Wiki page? If she’s not, I’ll scream.


I wasn’t gonna do this, but…

August 13, 2008

I’m really not in the mood to blog right now (working on a farm all day’ll do that to you. YOU try coming up with something insightful to say about J-pop cuties after mucking out goat stalls and restraining struggling calfs all day), so I wasn’t planning on reviewing Buono!’s new PV. But on reading a few other reviews, I couldn’t help but become incredulous over the fact that no one has gone all spazzy over the adorable Momo/Airi glomp. I mean, no one’s even pointed it out (as far as I’ve read). So, Usa-chan takes it upon herself to right this wrong! So, on with the review!~

Momoko:

For me, Buono! is Momoko. Let me specify: Airi is the looker. Miya is the talent (one could arguably switch those adjectives). But there are good looking girls and sexy girls in dozens of other groups out there. Momoko, with her special monkeyish brand of goofiness, is what makes Buono! what it is. Everything about her just amuses me. Her odd expressions when the jenga tower almost falls (she reminds me of an owl there), her strange grin… it is all so buono. (PS: My new Gaia signature is this picture:   )

Miyabi:

Miya. Holy crap. She became hot in this PV. I love her hair like that, not just the color, but the style. She looks megatons better with her hair down and in her face. But somehow… there are no standout Miya Moments here. Momo gets her hug, the mosquito thing, Airi gets all those little “serious” close-ups… Miya has to work hard to stand out. And she suceeds, to an extent.

Airi:

If Miya became hot, Airi became stunning. I love seeing her more serious like that. Her expressions suit seriousness better, right? Right! I also love love love her dance outfit. I’d wear that shirt, and I have a weakness for girls with braids. Braids are so under-used within H!P! bring back braids, dammit!

The Dance:

This is a typical Buono!-ey dance, full of energy and fun. But somehow, this one has a lot more personality than Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! did. I love the lady-like little arm… flicks. I don’t know what to call those. You all know what I’m talking about, right?! Th eonly other standout part of the dance, for me, was how much more exaggerated Momo’s movements were. She sticks her hips out more. It makes her look like a better dancer than the others!

The Concept:

Games…. ‘kay. I like this PV the most out of any of Buono!’s other stuff. The bright colors and white background make for a really pleasing effect for the eye. Having the girls piss off those random musicians was brilliant. The random murdering of the mosquito? Not quite so sure about that. Also, the wierd pop-up head game in the end creeped me out. Disembodied heads much?

And now, the reason for this review:

How can you not love that?! Look at that! look at Momo’s cuteness! When I saw that, I suddenly really wanted to be friends with Momo, just so I could get a hug like that.

In All:

I give this PV a 10!


Genius!

February 25, 2008

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Oh, how I wish I’d thought of this. Sadly, I didn’t, but whoever did is capable of sheer comedic genius.


A Shiawase surprise.

February 6, 2008

Before writing anything, I’d like to say that I’m really honored to be mentioned on that massive blog-collecting Superblog, International Wota. It’s an honor for someone like me, who used to just sit back and hope that she would one day have a blog that others might look at! Thank you again. Now, on to the main subject.

Dohhh Up! has uploaded the PV for C-ute’s newest single, LALALA Shiawase no Uta (you can also watch it at Hello Online), and I was really pleasantly surprised. I said that I felt slightly optimistic about this song, which was true. But really, slightly optimistic isn’t enough to hook anyone on a song, is it? So I held out my hopes for the PV, and I wasn’t disappointed. Each of the girls looks fabulous (Maimi, Saki and Erika stood out to me in particular), the dance is cute and fun, and there are lots of shiny lights. If there’s one thing I love, it’s pretty shiny lights. Here for your viewing pleasure are some of my favorite screen shots from the PV. I apologize if their quality isn’t that great.

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Now, these two shots occur not even 30 seconds into the PV, but they convinced me that it would be wonderful. You see, the dance that the girls are doing here is very reminiscent of a dance that my dear friends spent the majority of the 8th grade trying to teach the eternally clumsy me to perform. Needless to say, C-ute can do it far better than I.

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yes, C-ute can do the Can-can.

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No, Chisato, I don’t see your solo line anywhere in here, either.
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“Here’s the plan, gang! We’ll corner Tsunku-san in the hallway, then push him into the Girl’s bathroom and run!”

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Actually, I have no idea what Chisato is doing here…

And this final screen-cap is my favorite. I already mentioned that the PV had some similarities in my mind with Berryz’ Munasawagi Scarlet. Now I shall prove it!

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I wonder if Maimi could help clear up Captain and Miyabi’s confusion? Just look how nicely she’s helped Kanna!

PS:

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Seriously, these three are beautiful. Even with my poor screen-cap taking skills.