This post does not require a title

May 23, 2011

…which is good, because I have no words.


New Mini Moni, Old Mini Moni… oi!

June 2, 2009

Hi, everybody!

Well, let’s see! I haven’t blogged since Yossy’s birthday, I do believe. Why? Well, I have been mostly enjoying reading the blogs of others- you’re all amazing (yes, you). But something so momentous, so incredible, so unbelievable has happened that I have to come out of my semi-retirement to blog about it:

Tsunku may have actually had a good idea.

I’m sure that you’ve guessed that I’m talking about the revival of MiniMoni. I think that this move is risky but brilliant on the part of the T-man, and if he plays this right (IE composes it of all of the members I want ;3 ), it could be very successful. And if not, wellllll, it’ll at least be fun for the wota!

~~~

(I mean, seriously, look at this man. Ridiculous).

Now, there have been countless times in which Tsunku has appeared to be on drugs when coming up with a new idea involving H!P. Sometimes he seemed to have been on something very good- I’m thinking that this was the case when he came up with The Peace, decided to include children who could barely speak in his project and train them to be superidols bent on draining our wallets, not telling Niigaki Risa to take herself and her bean-shaped head the hell out of his auditions and including Tsuji into the fourth generation at the last minute. But more often the inventions of the insane man behind H!P’s inventions have been, well, insane.

~~

(I mean, seriously, look at this group. Ridiculous).

Take Coconuts Musume. CocoMusu were essentially a bunch of awkward, semi-talented Hawaiians who spoke little to no Japanese and looked gigantic next to the petite and supernaturally pretty MM members. They didn’t sell well, and the line-up bounced around enough to make even the best Wota’s eyes spin. And Tsunku was originally very excited about them. They’re not the only ones, though. Most of H!P has had to deal with Tsunku’s crackosity at one time or another: He treated Melon Kinenbi so badly that they quickly became a running joke amongst fans, and even Berryz fell prey to his lunacy (“HEEEEY! Heeey, man, let’s, like, dress ’em up in MONKEY suits! And have ’em sings songs! About MONKEYS!” “Dude, you’re, like, brilliant.”). So, I’ve learned to take most of what Tsunku says and look at it through a filter- a loving, incredulous but indulgent filter. “Oh, that’s just Tsunku being on ecstasy again, it’ll all turn out fine in a few days, no worries.”

(“TSUNKUUUUUU! I WILL DEVOUR YOUR LIVER!”)

~~

With all that, what makes me think that this revival of a classic group would ever be a good idea, when H!P is stagnant in its popularity and the economy looks like a Johnny’s member without make-up (According to Newsweek, Japan’s economy this year has taken the largest yearlong plunge in decades)?

For one, at least in the beginning, this group should get great publicity. It’s a revival of a group whose old fans are at the right age to look back nostalgically at- “Ah, Mini Moni were so great. I loved listening to their music after school!” In the idol industry, which is all about image, publicity is everything. When people see you, they’re more likely to buy.

Secondly, H!P is moving towards a more mature image. Yes, C-ute’s newest cover single sounds like it was sung by Airi and the Chipmunks, but the other groups are shifting towards a more mature style, Morning Musume especially. At the same time, there’s some holding back. Morning Musume has done dance-y and a little sad in their latest singles, and Dakishimete Dakishimete dabbled in sexiness, but nothing really sultry has come from H!P in a long, long time, whether it be in the form of a song or a group. In fact, the only sultry prodcut of H!P that comes to mind is the original  Tanpopo line-up, and that was back when Morning Musume members were allowed to be real, sexual beings. I feel that with a new Mini Moni to keep up H!P’s playful, childish side, Tsunku may feel more comfortable experimenting with the sultrier side of things. Put those awesome Korean H!P hopefuls to use!

So which H!P members do I think would make this new group a success? Well, that depends.

First, how many members does Tsunku want? Technically there was a time when MiniMoni had five members. I’d like to assume, though, that Tsunku will stick with four.

Will the group have the same theme? Well, we all seem to be assuming that this’ll be a bright, childish group, and that seems about right. If it’s not, then my post is mostly rendered moot. And I hate being made moot.

Second, will he stick with the 150 cm height rule? That seems unlikely, as very few non-Egg members of H!P match that rule. However, since this will be a children’s group (we hope), the members might still stay on the short side.

Third, what groups will the members be from? In my idealized world in which the only drugs Tsunku takes are the ones that he uses to help out in bed with his trophy wife, he’ll choose one girl from each group (BK, C-ute, the Eggs and MM).

The criteria are thus that  there’ll be one member from each group, that the height doesn’t matter but should be shortish, and that the group will be childlike and happy.

So taking that into consideration, here it is:

AOI♥USAGI’S PERFECT NEW MINIMONI FORMATION:

Of course Kanon is already in the group, but I would’ve chosen her anyways: She’s the perfect new Kago. She’s sweet, adorable as hell and has a good voice.

Please let Chisato into the group! She’s little, she’s spunky, and she’s simultaneously able to pull off Tsuji-like levels of mischevousness and Mikitty-like levels of singing ability. She needs to be C-ute’s representative in this group!

Momoko is insane and has a unique, powerful voice. Her personality takes second place to none and she can hold her own on variety shows. She’d be the Mari-figure that this group needs. Plus, she’s tiny! Yay!

Linlove

Yay Linlin! Lin gets to be the crazy foreigner (IE Mika) of this group. She’s a fabulous singer, just like Mika, tiny, full of personality, and can teach us another language! Just please don’t make her wear the Chinese flag on her head in the form of an ugly bandanna, please.

So there you go Tsunku, get off your pills and read my blog. Or stay on your pills and read my blog, for all I care. Just read it!

Disclaimer: Of course, this is the T-man that we’re talking about. It’s completely likely that this group will end up containing Kumai Yurina, Junjun, Umeda Erika, and a half-dozen eggs chosen at random. C’est la vie!


Whatwhatwhatwhat?!?!

October 19, 2008

So, so I was reading a thread at JPH!P, a Fujimoto Miki thread, when there was a mention of a “mass graduation.”

What.

?

So I went over to Hello! Online.

What?!?

Even Yossy? I’m so confused right now! Just the other day I was wondering to myself how I’d react if Yossy would graduate. I didn’t think I’d be this numb. What’s going to happen to Hangry and Angry? I feel sick…

It says that they’ll still continue their duties after they graduate, just not within H!P, so… maybe there’s no need for me to react this way. But I still feel like this could be really bad.

Being practical, I know that this is a good step for these young women. H!P is offering them nothing right now, and hasn’t for quite a while. H!P has always been about the new, younger girls. These ladies are truly talented, from Yuko down to Yui, and H!P isn’t utilizing that at all. Every single one of them deserves more than what H!P can give them. And on the other hand, without all of those “unused” acts, H!P will be now be able to put all of its attention (and money) on the Big Three, but…

That said… I just… can’t really understand what’s going on right now. So… pictures. Of everyone. I  can’t do it all in one post, so I’ll break it down into a few posts over a few days.

Nakazawa Yuko has always been a symbol of strength, to me. She was this sort of soothing idea, an older woman looking after the rest of H!P. H!P’s mother, if you will. Now that she’s gone, is Takitty going to become the leader of H!P? Because that’s just full of fail.

Iida I’m not too upset about. She was already basically gone, right? At least she has her husband and child with her, whereas some of these girls will have… what? But still, I like Iida, and I always had this tiny hope that she’d come back.

This isn’t right. Nacchi is H!P. What about her new single?! She’s NATSUMI FREAKING ABE, for Gaki’s sake! Something’s just not right about this.

Without Kei, who will… uh… terrify people by winking?! I love Kei. I love that she can sing and play all sorts of instruments. Listen to her performance of “The Rose,” and all of those times she played the saxophone at a recent Nacchi concert, and you’ll understand.

What. The. Fuck. Mari is the perfect Idol. I named my blog after one of her Uta Doki performances, damnit! She can zoom from super sexy photobook goddess to adorable leader of Mini Moni in no time flat. I adore her (I haven’t talked about her a lot yet, but that’s because I always assumed that there’d be time…) That said, Mari seems to be one of the girls who is all set to get out. She’s got a couple of her own TV shows and is often in the public eye. I assume that she, along with most of the other girls, will still stay close to UFA, just not in H!P.

I don’t really like Rika, but she is essential to IshiYoshi, right? And she’s popular, isn’t she? What about Ongaku Gatas?! Don’t they have a concert lined up soon?

That’s the end of the first post, because I started crying when I realized that I’m going to have to try to organize my thoughts about Yossy next.  I just re-visited H!O, and it seems that they’ll be within H!P until the end of March? That’s still a little while, so… let’s cherish them while we still can!


I don’t know what this is, but I’m smelling fresh-cooked eggs.

June 9, 2008

A link to a new (?) website appeared on the official H!P site today, and it appears to feature the H!P Eggs. For those of you who don’t desire to toddle off to the official site, here’s the link to the aforementioned new site:

http://www.helloproject.com/akasaka/

So, my computer can’t read any kind of characters (including Japanese), so I’ve no way of reading this and guessing what it’s about, but I see pages that seem to have concert information, and there’s a page with profiles of each of the eggs and also another with what appears to be a blog. Anyone want to confirm/deny this? I’m making a big fuss about it, but it’s probably nothing… probably just an advert site for their newest concert.

And, because this post is looking rather bare, here are a few ramblings on the Eggies:

Fukuda Kanon. Does she have any fans out there, like, on the Mano Erina level? Seriously, how have you guys not discovered her yet? She’s freaking adorable, and a good performer to boot.

One of my favorites eggs. I saw Yuri in Narihajimeta koi no Bell and finally understood why that song is titled “The bells of love begin to ring.”

Sekine Azusa. i don’t know anything about this girl, but c’mon. The size of her head makes Miya look normal! And she’s so skinny… watching her on stage, it’s kind of like someone took a melon and stuck it onto a toothpick and told it to dance. Although if you cover up her impressive forehead, she’s rather cute. I’m sure she has some forehead loving fans out there, pining for her massive brow.

I wonder how they’d do wota chants for that?

L-O-V-E, LOVELY FOREHEAD!


Look, it’s KAGO!

April 6, 2008

Yep, definitely Aibon...

Kago’s first interview in years…

“She’s really back?” That was my first impression. My second was “Whaddup with the hair? It looks like a wig”. For those who don’t know, Aibon is giving her first interview in… y’know, a while. More complete information can be found at Some Boys! Blog.

I’m not a big fan of Ai’s. She’s not my favorite Momusu, and I don’t think I was even into H!P at a time when she was still in it. But that said, Kago fascinates me. Similar to Goto Maki, Kago caught the public attention and refused to let it go throughout her career. Even now she has devoted fans, haters, and people everywhere just waiting and praying for her to come back.

What is it about an idol that appeals so much to people? Is there some sort of “idoling” gene that some people possess that allows them to touch people’s hearts like that? And if so, is there also an “Idol appreciation” gene for those of us who allow ourselves to be touched by idols (ignoring how dirty that sounds)?

But seriously, what is that that makes someone see a group of people to be admired and loved, and someone else just see a bunch of young people with mediocre voices bouncing around in skimpy clothes? For me, I was a fan from the moment I first heard Berryz Koubou’s cute voices. And yet when I showed my friend the same PV that I first saw (Warrachaou yo Boyfriend), her reaction was “Um… can we do something more interesting? Like, I dunno, studying the mating rituals of worms?”. How can two people have such radically different reactions?

Wow, this got off topic.

To Kago, and all of us who have the Idol-appreciation gene, good luck!


Resonance

March 5, 2008

Most of you will have heard the preview for Momusu’s Resonant Blue by now. I love it. It’s exactly the sort of song that I feel  Morning Musume should be coming out with. However, that’s not the best thing about this song. I was playing it (fairly loudly) while a friend of mine was over. This friend is used to me trying to force her to listen to my J-pop, which she basically hates. But when Resonant Blue started to play, she absolutely loved it. She asked me if she could buy it, and failing that, if she could get it on her Ipod.

Interesting. I look forward to showing her the PV when it comes out.


Yes!~

March 3, 2008

milkyha6.png

The members of the new group Milky Way have finally been announced. Along with Kusumi, two of my favorite h!p eggs will be singing! Kikkawa Yuu and Kitahara Sayaka. Sayaka’s face reminds me a little of Miyabi’s… mostly cause it’s also very long. Kikkawa Yuu I just think is really cute.

I can’t wait to see how the Eggs do. Although I can’t help but wish that some of the less promoted h!p kids had been given this role. I mean, use what you already have, Tsunku…