FOREVER LOVE… y’mean Tokkaiko 2, right?

November 17, 2008

C-ute’s new PV is not spectacular, but it’s still pretty damn good. I’m loving that they sprung some surprise outfits on us for the dance shot. I’m also loving that no one even bothered to hide the fact that Berryz got the crappier computers for their PV. It speaks volumes about the current placement of these two groups within H!P’s priority list. Berryz has basically become a joke, sort of like Melon Kinenbi did when they released their infamous PV for Onegai Miwaku no Target. I mean, look at this:

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Chisato: Ha ha ha! OMG, the girl in that picture’s totally got octopus hair! Lol, what a lame-o!

Kanna: … Wonder if I should tell Chisato that that’s one of her official UFA pics from this PV? They basically photoshop her into unrecognizeability anyways. so it shouldn’t matter, but…

Erika: Mai, how many times must I tell you? Stop trying to unhook my bra in public. Just wait till later, okay?

Mai: C’mon, baby. No one’s watching! Just for a few minutes!

Airi: And that, my friends, is how you download free porn.

Maimi: Wooooow! Airi, who knew you had such hidden talents?

Saki: Hey, that girl in this hentai kinda looks like Yaguchi Mari! Only her name’s Yauchi. What’s this called again? Shining Musume? Funny, that almost sounds like… Oh.

I’m pleased, in general, with how the girls look. The menswear theme is really cool, and I’m loving the boots. With the alternate outfits, each of the girls gets a somewhat menswear inspired feminine outfit, expect for Airi, who’s wearing a particularly attractive little capelet which is nevertheless the aboslute worst thing to be wearing when dancing. It kills her movements. I think I’m the most in love with Mai’s clothes. The remind me of Kanashimi Twilight.

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The worst outfit award HAS to go to Kanna. She has this odd overall outfit in a really heinous plaid. It totally doesn’t fit around her hips, and it makes her torso look way too short. The hat and the scarf just make it that much worse. She ends up looking like she’s gotten confused as to whether she’s being Orphan Annie or one of the factory boys from Oliver.

However, something else stood out to me about this screen-shot, something far more interesting than the fact that whoever chose Kanna’s clothes was obviously high:

chisatushOMG, ChisaTUSH for the win!

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Like this move? Takahashi taught it to me. It’s really original and makes me look distraught and hurt, lol!

Maimi was, as usual, looking stunning. For me, Maimi herself isn’t physically my type. She’s pretty, but not in a way that I really care about. But something about the way she carries herself really appeals to me. Maybe it’s because that she’s actually a UFA built cyborg that she carries herself like that, the original having been absorbed by the ManoCreature ages ago.

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On your knees. Lick my boots. Curl my hair. Kill Momoko and Miyabi so I can go solo.

Somehow… Airi… really made me happy in this one.

Maybe it’s because she knows how to download internet porn. -shrugs- You decide.

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No matter how you look at it, Chisato is gorgeous in this PV. But her hair… her hair…

How much hair cement did it take to make it look like someone had basically stuck an octopus to her scalp and called it a day? Whoever thought of this style should be shot (although I don’t mind the bangs).

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Nakki, oh, Nakki. What happened here? You look like some Mexican guy, and not the sexy kind that have big muscles and looks good when they’re sweating. The scrawny kind with the thin little mustache that tries to sell you things on the side of the street and is wearinga stained tank top and has too much hair gel in their hair.

But, uh, you looked great dancing. In fact, that purple blazer of yours in the alternate outfit version was fantastic. I tried the exact same thing on today while shopping at Banana Republic.

It looked better on you.

Dammit.

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Kanna, oh, Kanna…

Whatever Saki did wrong, you did right. You’re breathtaking in this PV, in that special lesbian way that only you can be.

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Mai looks like a sickly child here. Like the kind you see carrying an inhaler in their fanny pack, along with their hanky and handi-wipes, just in case.

Er, yeah, Mai. Better luck next time.

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If any of you needed proof that Erika is part woodchuck…

Erika was mostly just Erika here. Kinda out of place, but still sexy. I abslolutely loved her curly hair during some parts of the dance shot. She looks so much better that way.

(Oh, the reason for the title of this was because the song, the PV, the dance, the line distribution, all of it basically makes me thing of Tokaikko Junjou/ That’s not bad. I love that song and PV.)

I give this PV a 8 out of 10, and the song an 8.5 out of 10, because I’m just that great.

Now if you’ll excuse, I’m going to go stare at ChisaTUSH some more.

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Not yet! My scarlet premonition isn’t showy!

October 18, 2008

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Berryz needs a new shtick. Lyk nao.

For those who don’t know, Madayade means “Not yet.”

PS: Does Chinami look hot or what on the Madayade cover?


Oogoe Diamond from the PoV of an AKB48 newb

October 6, 2008

Catchy title, no?

I will be the first to admit that I am a newb, or even a n00b when it comes to AKB48. Sure, I recognize most of their faces, but I only know a handful of their names, and even less of their personalities (those profiles of yours, Cat? They’re amazing. Please keep them up, because they’re the only thing that made me able to pick some of the Team A girls out of the crowd). So when I watch their PVs, I am generally in it for three things: Hoping that something as amazing as Keibetsu Shiteita Aijou will come along, watching for something eyecatching or different, and Miyazawa Sae.

You can imagine how happy I was when I watched the new PV and saw that Sae is practically the main character.

I really wanted to give this PV a serious review, but when I sat down to write it, I found myself resorting to descriptions likes “That girl about four girls to the left of Sae wants to be anywhere but there” or “the one who looks like a cocker spaniel looks really bored.” That just doesn’t sit well with me, so I threw out that sad version and, well, now I have something that’s part review, part ramble, all WTF-ery. Basically, these are the notes that I took as I was watching the PV in their original format, with crappy screencaps to help them along. Let’s start, shall we?

So the PV begins with Acchan, one of my least-favored girls that I can actually recognize. She’s running, she’s running, she’s running, and then! Some girl bumps into her, and gives her the look from Hell. This look, to be specific:

I’mma eat j00 up, Acchan!

Waittaminute, who is that? Seriously, who is she? She has a kind of funny mouth. Is she that research student with the funny mouth?  Muranaka Satomi, right? Hnnh.

Acchan: “What a rude, rude little Reasearch student you are! Acchan is your Supreme Overlord, and you, as a Research student, are her bitch! Apologize, or you will never find yourself in another single as long as you live! Not even as one of those random extras that no one notices! HAHAHAHAHAer… -kawaiiemolook-”

Now they’re in a hallway. Mayuyu reminds me of a toy poodle. I just base this off of how tiny and fragile she looks. Like the tiny kind of dog that yaps all the time and practically wets itself whenever a bigger dog so much as glances at it. What is she bitching about now? Wait. I see Sae texting! It’s Sae, huzzah! Oh, wait, Mayuyu has an announcement to make…

Toy Poodle: “Excuse me, everyone? Yeah, hi, over here. Our producer just texted me. He said that I’m going to be the newest soloist. If I don’t sell 10,000 copies of my new super-slutty single, he’ll push me off of a cliff. Will you guys help me think up a stage name that’s a barely disguised euphemism for the word ‘penis?'”

Everyone: “…C’mon Mayu! No one’s that stupid! That’d never happen in real life!”

Acchan: “…Acchan wanted to be the new soloist… Now what is Acchan supposed to do with the hunky men she hired to be her slightly awkward back-up dancers?”

Here she is again! Who are you?! Agh, this is so going to bother me! Research students wouldn’t get that much screentime, right? I’ll admit that she’s kinda fun, but can someone tell me where the heck she came from? She even gets a duet line instead of just getting stuck into the chorus. Wut?

The dance really isn’t anything special, is it? But there’s lots of Sae-time, so I’m set. She dances with so much energy. She’s like Yossy… only she hasn’t cross-dressed, to my knowledge.

Toy Poodle: “Guys, he wouldn’t actually make me dance to this while wearing an outfit that manages to make me look like an anorexic football player with no backside to speak of, right?”

Theeeeere’s Researchy again! With the Toy Poodle and two other girls whose names I don’t know.

Er, would Mariko be allowed to wear stuff like that at a Japanese high school? Wouldn’t the teachers like, bitch slap her and make her hold heavy buckets of water as punishment for daring to stand out and be original? That said, she looks awesome.

Have I ever mentioned how much I like this Iida-looking girl? ‘Cause I do. Only, if you cover up the left half of her face in this screenshot and stare for a while, she looks like an odd mixture of Maasa and Yurina, and not a good way.

Sot he girls are adorable, learning the dance by watching a video of “real idols” dancing. Since that’s how most of us laern how to do H!P and other idol’s dances, there’s a sense of realism here. “Yes, that’s me.”

And then Sae comes in and is all “Lol, wut?? r u gaiz st00pid? thats not how u do it lol!” She then proceeds to show Acchan how much she, Sae, wins at life. Acchan is appropriately depressed.

Acchan then bitches. And bitches. And bitches.  Toy Poodle, pay attention. This is what you’re aspiring to become.

And then… the best part of the PV (which I won’t screencap due to all the moving aroundness and such) happens: Sae practically attacks Acchan, who, true to her role in the PV, stands there and sobs.

This may be because I have a martial arts background myself (I recently received my black belt in Shaolin Kempo), but I love strong, fighting women. So seeing Sae about to absolutely destroy Acchan was probably one of the sexiest things I’ve seen come from any idol group this year. If anyone, ANYone could perhaps turn that bit into a .gif and send it to me, or even just tell me what Acchan was bitching about, I would be such a happy, happy wota.

Sayaka: “-gazes longingly at Sae- I’d so tap that…”

So, I recognize who this is now. In fact, I feel kinda bad for not realizing sooner. But, can you blame me? I wasn’t expecting Voldemort to be hanging around inside AKB48.

More Sae. Why? Because there can never be enough Sae love. What’s with her hair, though? I bet it looks ridiculous from the front. It’s like a failed unicorn look.

Damnit! Tell me who you are and why you’re getting so much screentime, you… alien!!!

But the PV is getting long, and so, after an internal revelation or two, Acchan is able to get back on her feet, back onstage, and put her best face forward:

This face, to be specific. You might be thinking, “What? But that’s just her normal, dull expression that she usually wears when performing!”

Exactly.

EDIT:

OHMIGOD! SHE’S EVEN ON THE COVER, TOO?!?! WHAT GIVES? She’s totally not the Research student with the wierd mouth. Is she the SKE girl who’s listed on the Wiki page? If she’s not, I’ll scream.


Help me, help me, help me!

April 25, 2008

But seriously, I need your help!

How does everyone here who lives in a Region 1 area (I’m not sure if I’m using that term correctly; I’m technologically challenged) watch Japanese DVDs? Just recently I bought C-ute’s Namida Iro single and Morning Musume’s Resonant Blue single, and can’t watch them due to the region error. (This is the first time I’ve ever owned a music video for anything, by the way. I’m kind of proud that my first music video purchase is H!P related!)

Needless to say, I’m rather disappointed in not being able to watch said first PVs, so anyone who could help me would have my eternal gratitude!


The return of B-adass!

March 26, 2008

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Namida no Iro Limited Edition (click for fullview)

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Namida no Iro Regular Edition (click for fullview)

Really, I just wanted an excuse for these pictures to grace my blog.

I think a member-by-member review is in order.

Umeda Erika: For being the resident H!P Kids sexpot, Erika’s pose on the regular edition is a bit disappointing. I’d like to see her working it a bit more, to make up for the un-sexiness of her outfit (it’s like she accidentally spilled fruit punch on her shirt, so they tossed the tablecloth over her shoulders to try and hide it). That said, she totally rocks it on the limited edition cover. The hat offsets the thinness of her face, and she’s one of the few H!P girls who doesn’t look like a dead fish when giving the sexy gaze.

Yajima Maimi: Maimi needs to curl her hair like that more. Seriously, this could be my favorite of any look she’s ever had. Her outfit isn’t great, but it’s not awful by any stretch of the imagination. Her expression on both covers are fiercely kakkoi, especially on the limited cover where she is channeling Yossy (always a good person to be channeling). As for her poses- on the regular cover, it’s simple, sassy, works well, whatever. But on the limited edition it’s like… wow. She just looks amazing, and groping Chisato probably isn’t hurting much. Maybe there’s more to that little Maimi/Chisato kiss than we thought?

Arihara Kanna: Another victim of bad neckwear, this time it’s like Kanna realized that she had forgotten to buy fish for dinner and threw her fishing net over her shoulder for later. I actually like her more on the regular version, since the side of her head with all the hair is turned towards us. It just looks nicer. I despise her shoes.

Nakajima Saki: Saki looks so damn cute! Even with that huge fugly hat, she looks great! She has to have the best emo face in all of C-ute (as seen in Tokaikko Junjou) and she’s totally using it to her advantage here. Surprisingly one of the ones really going for the sexiness on the regular cover, she made the mistake of crossing her legs and lifting one foot up in the air. It kind of makes her look like she has to pee. A lot. Anyways, her hair should stay like this: It shows off her nice eyebrows.

Suzuki Airi: It’s good that she’s obscured by Mai in the regular edition, because Airi’s pose is bordering on silly. She looks as though she’s asking the age old question concerning her posterior and size thereof. She makes up for it on the limited, where she looks absolutely fierce. The big collar kind of gives her an “evil princess” look, and she really does look great in short-shorts (these are even shorter than the Renai♥Rider ones!).

Okai Chisato: I’m not… sure exactly what type of look they were going for with Chisato (I call her Chisai in my head all the time, so if I accidentally type that here, my apologies). her hair is kind of like an Elvis cut mixed with a pompadour (IE crazy). It could have been worse, and at least it shows off her dreamy eyes. Her outfit is… also kind of crazy, but still manages to work. She doesn’t do much of anything on the regular cover, but she looks like some kind of Queen Dominatrix on the limited cover, with her little C-uties ranged around her adoringly.

Hagiwara Mai: Dear… dear little Mai, please have bangs again? Please? Because you look a little scary without them. Aside from that… Mai has my least favorite outfit in this; it’s just a black drawstring bag with holes chopped in it for the arms and legs. Her pose and expression aren’t bad on the regular cover (in fact, she’s working it more than most of the older girls), but I love her expression on the Limited cover. She looks so cool and arrogant. One last thing… does anyone think that she has red-eye in the limited version? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a H!P photo before. Ever.

In all: C-ute looks quite nice here. Actually, what with the ladder in the limited cover, I’m reminded of the cover for Roman ~MY DEAR BOY~ (this is not a bad thing at all, as that’s one of my favorite MM singles).

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Look, even Kanna’s fishing net-scarf made an appearence here!


Resonance

March 5, 2008

Most of you will have heard the preview for Momusu’s Resonant Blue by now. I love it. It’s exactly the sort of song that I feel  Morning Musume should be coming out with. However, that’s not the best thing about this song. I was playing it (fairly loudly) while a friend of mine was over. This friend is used to me trying to force her to listen to my J-pop, which she basically hates. But when Resonant Blue started to play, she absolutely loved it. She asked me if she could buy it, and failing that, if she could get it on her Ipod.

Interesting. I look forward to showing her the PV when it comes out.


Important!

February 13, 2008

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We interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to tell you that the B-side to Buono’s Renai♥Rider single, Janakya Mottainai, is spectacular and must be listened to immediately! If you have not heard this song yet, it is a matter of national security that you listen to it right away.

Thank you!