Do you guys like me yet?

September 1, 2008

Alternate title: Usa-chan’s blog needs a “mature-content” warning.

Times are hard. Gas prices are soaring, stocks are falling, and people are making sacrifices worldwide to make ends meet. What does this have to do with blogging? Probably nothing. But I do know that I’ve been getting fewer and fewer pageviews lately. Thus, my blogging ego is plummeting along with my pageviews, and I’m going to blame it on the recession. Wow, I’m talking just like an adult already!

What am I going to do about this?

I’m going to figure out what all you readers out there want and give you a post devoted to that. As far as I can tell, most of you out there look for one or more of three things when reading a post:

1. Humor. Who doesn’t like to laugh?

2. New opinions, or something you didn’t already know.

3. Boobs. Do I really need to explain?

The easiest of those three things is, of course, the last. And because school has started and thanks to sadistic teachers I already have homework, I’m only choosing to give you one of those three. So here you go:

Usa-chan’s super awesome fanservice post!

Why not start out with a bang (pun intended)? Besides, according to my research (IE bored musings), the pictures are probably the only things you’ll actually look at in this post.

Personally, I find Nacchi to be one of the sexiest members of H!P. Plus, if you back waaay up, tilt your head and kinda squint, not only will you look incredibly silly, but Nacchi’s bathing suit kinda blends into her skin. z0ngz! Yes,all you need after doing that is a bit of imagination, and bam! You’ve got naked Nacchi!

I find Rika’s ribs here to be kinda disturbing. But the point of this part of the post is boobies, not ribs, so there you go, you perverts.

This was just too funny not to include. Whoever made this .gif, come talk to me, because you’re hilarious.

Yuiboobs are the only ones in H!P that I think might be the result of plastic surgery. She went from flat to boobalicious in a very short amount of time (see below). No push-up bra could do that.

It’s like anti-fanservice on the left there.

I’d love to see another Konkon photobook, now that she’s back in H!P.

Thank Gaki for fans who know how to use photoshop (no, they didn’t actually kiss. but if they had…)

So, whaddaya say, guys? Are the pageviews going to start pouring in?


We’re all just a little bit sadistic…

May 23, 2008

…if we enjoy watching pretty girls get tortured with mushrooms and string.

I have to say, Ai has the most entertaining shriek of fungus-induced terror I’ve ever heard. Oh, and is it just me, or does Ai actually look a little bit like Momoko here?

It makes you wonder what person sits around in a dusty room all day thinking up new and possibly scarring ways in which to torture our idols. All I can picture is some drooling man in a straightjacket, chewing a rusty nail and babbling things like “Must shoot steam at MM members… must make Rika pet a chicken… must deprive Koharu of crack and sugar…”


H!P flavored ramblings

March 30, 2008

Instead of going in-depth about the things occurring in the blogosphere lately, I’ll just ramble about them here.

H!P Wars Episode VI: Return of the Maki.

– So Maki is blogging again, and she’s in America. I came into H!P at a bad time for liking Maki, since she had just begun to release her line of slut-tastic singles (which gave me a very bad impression of her). Since she left, though, I’ve gained a lot of respect for the effect she had on H!P and Idols in general.

– I wish she’d just tell us what she’s doing in the US, already!

– I’m worried that she’ll try and make a US debut. I don’t want to re-open the “H!P in the US” debate, but… honestly, a lot of people will see her, think “Pretty girl”, then hear her accent and think “Oh, I don’t ‘get’ it, so I don’t like it”. If she’s going to sing in English, she’s gonna have to get pretty damn good.

– If she’s just training to come back to Japan and be the new and improved Goto… then awesome.

Biyuuden/ Viyuuden/ V-u-den: They weren’t always sluts…

– V-u-den’s newest PV has them looking… exactly like they did when they first started out? Even Yui has gone back to having all her hair scraped away from her face, which looks awful on her.

– The song itself is pretty good. I’ve liked this song since I heard Eri performing it solo.

– There are some random blurry, shaky clips of V-u-den playing around on the beach (while wearing all their clothes). I’m not sure why they’re there, though.

New group, ho!

– The members of HAPPY! STYLE have been announced. It consists of the Kansai girls, two trainees (where’d they come from, anyways?) and Noto Arisa.

– I’m glad for the Kansai girls, especially Suma Ai. Puberty was good to her.

puberty-was-good-to-ai.jpg puberty-was-very-good-to-her.jpg

(before and after).

– I’m a little surprised about Noto being added, but whatever. She’s pretty cute.

A snappy title about Mano Erina

– I have held back on blogging about ManoEri cause I’m still not yet sure what to think about her.

– She’s cute and all, and her voice isn’t bad exactly, but… I just don’t see her as a soloist. Still, I’m happy that there’ll be someone new in Wonderful Hearts (that’s assuming that she’ll be in Wonderful Hearts).

Spawn of Tsunku

– I’m unsurprised about this. He has a wife (trophy wife that she is). Of course they’d expect mini Tsunkus eventually.

– I wonder if he’ll make them become members of H!P if they’re girls? Wouldn’t that be against everything a father would want, having his daughters wear skimpy clothes and dance around in front of a bunch of middle aged men?

– Isn’t is amazing that Tsunku hasn’t yet gotten into a scandal of any sort? Without him, the H!P girls would be basically screwed, after all.