Aibon no more

Kago is back, but...

She’s a born-again Ai.

Kago Ai tried to kill herself (I got this information from this article).

I’m so sad and confused about this. But more than that, I feel disillusioned. My mom once made a comment to me about how damaging it must be for an idol to lose her popularity and fall from the adoration of the public. That comment really bothered me, and now I know why. When I was very unhappy and lonely, I discovered Berryz Koubou. As I continued to learn more about H!P and idols in general, I felt that I’d found something to count on that cheered me up. Idols are an illusion that I desperately want to believe in, an illusion of eternal cheer and happiness. More than anything sad going on in my personal life, or anything unfair going on in this world, I wanted to believe in the illusion given by idol happiness.

The power of a smile

The epitome of endless cheer

Ai has made that difficult. Ai was the quintessential idol, one of the best there’s ever been. A near-perfect illusion. And then the dream ended. She was rocked by multiple scandals and plummeted from grace. Just when she seemed to be picking up the pieces, she screwed up again (literally) and was fired, this time for good. Today I learned that a year ago, when she was newly released from her contract, Ai tried to slit her wrists and end her life.

Trying to kill yourself is the ultimate outward expression of unhappiness. There can be no more illusion of Aibon the ever-smiling idol, an illusion I’d kept in my mind even through her scandals and multiple falls from grace. She has ceased to be part of the idol-induced dream I’ve placed myself in. I’m awake now, and I’m not sure I want to be.

How will this affect my views on idols in general? I’m not sure. I think that deep down I already realized that this was a potentially dangerous environment for young girls to grow up in, that even an idol can’t always be immune from sadness. I’d like to think that despite knowing this, idols will continue to be a source of happiness and interest for me. Only now I’ll know not to rely completely on the idol illusion.

Bye-bye, Aibon.

Bye-bye, Aibon. Hello, Kago Ai.

5 Responses to Aibon no more

  1. […] Comeback Season – Idle Idols Get Back In Gear (IroIro Aru Sa!) Aibon no more (Aoi♥Usagi) Kago Ai (Sing Your Dreams) To Kago, With Love… (Kira Kira Bomb) Biscuit Club […]

  2. yossha says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to force myself to really commit and take part in the illusion for fear of what happened to all of Kago’s fans occurring to me at my emotional expense. It’s good to dream, to believe that everything is perfect in your favorite idols’ lives, but when something as startling as Kago’s attempted suicide comes to light, it just reinforces my distance from the company, from the idols, everything. And yet I keep coming back for more. Why? Because I want to see “what will happen next”.

    It’s a trap.

  3. renaye says:

    i’m not into momusu stuff but i just feel sad for her to be caught in scandals and such. i guess when you are in the limelight, you would never have privacy; everyone just wants to know everything bout you.

  4. EyetoEye says:

    Well to be honest you gotta put yourself in her position. She really (and I mean really) enjoyed being part of the Momusu gang and developed a sense of bond with other members of the crew, her bright personality made people’s day a whole lot better. Now media as we know effect people a lot and we have to understand how stressing it is. To lose a job that you’d really love, people who looked up to you suddenly turning their backs judging and criticizing them because of a paper, and the friends she saw everday may seem more distant than usual(BUT i know members of Morning Musume have tried to comfort her in that time of need). The good part about Kago Ai is she got to her senses and pick herself right back up and is now. Im going to admit I still support Kago Ai despite the criticism, and tabloids.

  5. Alarice says:

    I feel so bad for miss Kago. Its unfortunate that the sweet girl we knew as Aibon, the part two of the W stars, the constant cutie of Mini Moni~ Both Aibon Kago and Tsuji Nozomi are gone from H!P ..and we all know Tsuji is doing okay, but I guess all we can do is watch out for our sweet Aibon❤
    When I was younger watching the H!P music videos, and learning more about them, Aibon Kago became my favorite. As the author of the article said, she looked to idols as people who were flawless, and leading such a simple, happy lifestyle. Then to see the one you adore fall from the top, to a lower level to yourself. it takes away that fantasy and you learn something. I learned that even the most unlikely people are capable of turning on to such a horrible path after gaining such power.
    I still love Aibon Kago. And I still look up to her.

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