H!P my way.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the things “wrong” with Hello! Project, and seeing Maple GreanTea’s post made me finally make the effort to organize my thoughts. It seems I’ve been replying to Maple GreanTea’s thoughts lately, huh? (Maple GreanTea, let’s be friends!)

Things Aoi♥Usagi would change about h!p:

Morning Musume:

A new graduation would not occur for at least 6 months- 1 year.

There would be auditions held for the 9th generation before ANYONE else leaves. At least three girls would be chosen (no more of this one-member generation nonsense). Personally, I want to see a Korean member, a “mood maker” member (Hi, Yaguchi #2), and… a glasses member?

The T-man would continue releasing music with a sound similar to the disco-ey sound of Resonant Blue.

Kusumi Koharu would not get any more leads until she has intensive vocal lessons. Tanaka would not get any more leads until she stops warping her voice to sound “cute” and goes back to Shabondama-era Tanaka.

Kamei would begin to subtly come to the front more and more. She would not get many leads, but will contribute solid vocals as always.

The expansion into Asia would accelerate to ludicrous speed.

The line distribution would become FAR more even.

Berryz Koubou:

Risako would begin fading to the back. Since that will never happen outside of my dreams, she goes along with Kusumi to begin intensive singing lessons.

After learning to control her voice, Risako would surprise all us non-fans by being somewhat bearable. Like in Munasawagi Scarlet.

Maasa would come to the front during the time in which Risako takes her singing lessons.

Yurina and Chinami would begin to have an interchangeable places singing within the group.

– Yurina would develop a personality beyond space cadet. She’d also begin to take up modeling.

Momoko would begin using her Buono! voice and impressing everyone.

Miyabi would release a solo single but would NOT graduate. This would be a one-time thing, similar to Takahashi’s Yume Kara Samete.

Their musical style… would still remain all over the place.

The line distribution would become FAR more even.


Their sound would immediately go back to Tokkaiko-esque. Like, right now.

Airi would remember how she used to sing (or be forced to remember). Like back in Aa!. She misses this style and starts singing that way again. Aoi♥Usagi weeps with joy.

– Okai Chisato, Yajima Maimi and the newly vocally reborn Airi would become the lead singers, with the other girls helping out liberally. No more of this “no lines for the less promoted girls” bit.

Yurina would call up her friend Erika and tells her how much fun modeling is. Erika gives it a try.

The line distribution would become FAR more even.

The rest of h!p:

Melon Kinenbi would either get some real, quality releases SOON or graduates within the year. Before they go, Oohtani would dye her hair every color known to man and be immortalized in the Hair Hall of Fame.

Ogawa would come back to be a soloist. With her new long brown hair and same kick-ass voice and personality, people would kick themselves for not promoting her talent before. They throw themselves at her feet. She laughs and goes on to conquer the charts.

Matsuura Aya would begin to get singles similar to Ki ga Tsukeba Anata; an upbeat mature sound suitable for an adult woman, but not another boring ballad.

GAM would reform and become Aya’a new hope for the future. They’d release music similar to Thanks!.

Ayaka’s Surprise English Lessons would come back in a big way.

Buono!’d continue doing what they’re doing. Eventually they’d move beyond the sphere of Shugo Chara and become a solid group.

Athena and Robbywhatever would stop releasing music for their anime. After a few months, however, the same four girls would team up again for a group with a cool image (Risa really can pull off kakkoi! Honest!). In their first single, Chisato will be featured in a room full of baseballs.

New Units:
– Kumai Yurina, Kamei Eri and Umeda Erika would team up for a group that has a sound similar to 2nd Gen. Tanpopo. I really want to see this group come into being. It’s basically my dream group.

Ai, Airi, and Aika would release one single on Valentine’s Day (please?). But no more after that.

Okada Yui and her boobs would create a new egg-centric group.

-After some rumors of a solo career, Miyoshi Erika would join Yui’s Egg group. Yui jiggles with happiness.


15 Responses to H!P my way.

  1. ErikaUmedaFan says:

    Great ideas! 🙂

  2. […] blog; I enjoy reading it from time-to-time. Well, recently, Aoi♥Usagi wrote a highly entertaining post detailing what changes she would make to the current units fronting Hello! Project (as well as ones […]

  3. saplesweet says:

    :)!! I love inspiring posts!

    It’s interesting that you want to see a Korean member join MM, and I think it’s a great idea considering they’re trying to expand. Plus, Korean girls are so pretty! And JunLin might feel more comfortable with the group if another non-Japanese girl joined as well. I HIGHLY agree with another mood maker, but it did take Yaguchi quite a while just to develop that crazy personality, wasn’t she really quiet when MM started? And a personality like hers only seemed acceptable because of her cuteness and size. I don’t think people would think it was too cute if someone as big as Iida or Yoshizawa had the same attitude.
    noooo, Risako can’t fade!! (: she’s one of my favorites, but i can understand why people hate her. Even i think Berryz has had too much of her in the past few singles. She’s beautiful, we know, but there are 6 other girls in the group!They act like Risako is the artist, the others are her dancers or something..
    Also, Ayaya needs to have a strong come-back sooo badly, so i totally agree with you on ki ga tsukeba bit. those type of songs would suit her age and image perfectly, instead of her singing what i like to call “old lady” songs.

    I love these kind of posts! I’m glad you’ve been reading and replying to mine, I added you to my blogroll and of course we can be friends! (:

  4. Andra says:

    Wow, I couldn’t agree with you more… Because I basically want every SINGLE thing you mentioned to happen. The only one I’m not passionate about is your Kame, Yuri, Erika group as 2nd gen Tanpopo but as I would love to have that group back I don’t care so much who would do it. I’m fine at those girls as much as with any girls.

    But now, UFA and all the big bosses! Make all these things to come true and I (and many other people) will be happy!

  5. chibon says:

    – Ai, Airi, and Aika would release one single on Valentine’s Day (please?). But no more after that.

    that’s such a cute idea ♥ i’d love that unit (even if it’s one-shot) to death.

  6. yossha says:

    Makoto as a soloist would be all kinds of awesome. I imagine she’d have a few very hyper singles, and a summer-themed song! Oh man, I’d love that. ;_; H!P, why don’t you do these things? I bet they’ll just ignore her even if she comes back anytime soon…

    Loved the post, by the way (as you probably know!). “Yui jiggles with happiness” made me ROFL.

  7. aiwish472 says:

    I love all your ideas, especially “Ogawa would come back to be a soloist.” =D

  8. Usa-chan says:

    @saplesweet: yes, I suppose it would be kind of weird to have a tall girl with an attitude just as tall… I just really want SOMEONE whose character is the kind that jumps out and grabs people, instead of being the traditional cute! As for Risako… maybe if she were promoted less I’d hate her less… but maybe not. ^^’ And I added you to my blogroll, as well! Yay for blogging friends!

    @Andra: It’s good to know my ramblings mean something to someone! As for my dream group, I just like the european, almost Beatles-ey sound that the 2nd gen. of Tanpopo had, and want to hear more of it (I use the word “Beatles-ey lightly. I don’t know what I’m saying, really).

    @Chibon: Wouldn’t it be cute? although I don’t love Airi…

    @Yossha: Wouldn’t it just be awesome? If they turn her into another Iida or yasuda type (IE no singles) when she comes back, I will not be a happy Usa-chan. By the way, everytime i see the name of your blog (yossha yossha YOSSHA), I can’t resist saying it out loud. It’s fun!

    @aiwish472: Thanks! it’s one of my dearly harbored wishes for h!p.

  9. kookyprincess29 says:

    i love your post,except for the part of intensive vocal lessons.

  10. amyrulez says:

    Umm… Usa? Where are youuuuu??? I miss reading your post. They’re really interesting. Anyway, I’ll be waiting for a new one k. (P/S: I like most of your way of managing H!P. But… Why should girls from other countries join the Musumes? Japan girls are the best-in my opinion. And, isn’t Kusumi is already ok? In fact, all of them. Don’t get mad at me…)

  11. amyrulez says:

    Umm… Usa-chan? Juz wanna ask something. Could we be friends? No, a senpai is better. You seems to know a lot about Morning Musume (and I’m not). Honestly, the first blog I met when I first knew Morning Musume is Aoi♥Usagi! I really love your posts. Its really inspiring to me. So, can I call you Usa-senpai? Hehe…

  12. Usa-chan says:

    I have been fairly sick lately, so I can’t make as many posts! I’m sorry, and thank you very much for your kind comments. They make me so happy! Let’s definitely be friends!

    Yes, call me Usa-senpai if you like! What can I call you?

  13. amyrulez says:

    Yay, Domo, senpai! Call me whatever you want. As long as its not a rude name or anything weird. Hey, you’re sick. Me too! Its been a week already… Achooo!

  14. Usa-chan says:

    I’ll think of a really good name, then! I’ve… been sick for three months now. ^^’ I want to get better!

  15. […] this post, I predicted (somewhat lightheartedly) that Erika would at some point decide to give […]

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