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So! Thanks to Mars (The blogger of Stardust. Wait a minute. Wow. That sounds like the name of a nerdy emo band. The Bloggers of Stardust. Black ink runs from their slashed wrists as they type out their angst into a coded swirling dark torrent of despair. Yeah, that sounds about right!), I have learned of the formation of possibly the greatest new unit in H!P. Why, you ask, does Usa-chan love this unit so much? She’ll tell you, and in the third person to boot!

1. Usa-chan’s favorite-ish Eggy-poo is currently Saho Akari, who also happens to be portraying the uber cool Amulet Spade character transformation.

2. Usa-chan loves Fukuda Kanon

3. Usa-chan just so happens to adore the character designs for Amu’s character transformations in Shugo Chara.

3.14159. Usa-chan doesn’t usually talk in the third person like this…

3.5. She finds it mildly thrilling.

4. She’ll stop now.

I can’t tell you how happy this new unit has made me.

It’s very interesting that Maeda Yuuka was chosen to be the Amulet Heart transformation, Amu’s main character transformation in the anime/manga. Could that denote an advanced position within the group? I don’t know if I’d like that, as any over-saturated girl in H!P generally annoys me (hey thar Reina). But the fact that my two darlings within the group are portraying my two favorite Character Transformations (Saho Akari as the ever cool MIki, and Fukuda Kanon as the lovely Su) makes me squee like the fangirl that I… well, am. As long as they both get even one tiny little line, the entire rest of the song can be all Maeda, and I’ll be okay. I’m not so stoked about Wada Ayaka, because she’s always reminded me of a brownie. Both the food (which is a dry little chocolate-ish square that grandmothers force into you), and the creatures (which are helpful little sprites that, inexplicably, refuse gifts, especially clothing. Maybe they’re Jehovah’s Witness.)

This good news came at the perfect time for me. Rather than go into detail, I’ll simply say that my life is not going greatly at the moment (a teenager’s position is powerless, or so I’ve been told). Despite all this personal suckishness, just the smallest, most pixelated image of a bunch of cute underage girls dressed up in what looks like cheap cosplay brings all sorts of good feelings back (no, not those kinds of feelings, you perverts). For a half hour, I can sit here and be distracted from any personal crap as I plan out how best to jump a plane to Japan, hide in some bushes, kidnap Saho-chan, put her in my pocket, and bring her back to America with me.

Basically? Idols are the only thing that never fail to make me happy. People come and go, but there will ALWAYS be another poorly produced, talentless pop group out there for me to adore. I give the T-man a lot of grief, but really, I’m very grateful to him.

Thanks, Tsunku. I appreciate it.*

*But you’re seriously still creepy.